Are you, like your entire Wonkette staff, sick to your stomach? Even your old friend alcohol isn’t helping? Maybe giving us money and getting some PUBLIC FURY to put on your bean and show the world FUUUUUUUUCK NO will help!
Christ, something’s got to.
LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020 hats are in and ready to ship. They are $19.99, and shipping is free. Wanna buy one with our HELL. NO. anti-dickwad hats?
Then go HERE for your hat special, where you get one of each for $30 total!
Hurry up and buy them all please, because you are about $2000 behind in PAYING OUR RENT for the month, and unlike the guy at Snopes, to whom we are regretting sending our (your) $25, we do not make $240,000 per year (trigger warning for link to the Daily Mail, yuck ick) plus $20,000 a month in profit share. We make the same amount as we pay the boys, which is $37 and a sandwich.
MOAR SANDWICHES PLS! BUY ALL THE SHIT! Not shit sandwiches though, that was today’s health care vote, brb gonna throw up again, some more, for ever.
[Literally Anyone Else 2020 hat / HELL. NO. hat / hat special get em both!]